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How Your Team Can Beat the San Jose Sharks - 2 Possible Methods

The San Jose Sharks lost to the Phoenix Coyotes last night 4-2, after being up 2-0 early in the first period. That much you can read about in full here.

This was just the third loss for the Sharks in 16 games - they are now 13-3-0 (still the best in the NHL). It is worth noting that all three losses came on the road.

Now, my fellow Sharks fans might question my judgment here, but I've decided to share some insider information as to how to get YOUR non-Sharks team to defeat us. I know, I'm the Benedict Arnold / Judas Iscariot sort.

There are two possibilities - your team will have to decide which course of action best suits their needs. Oh - and these possibilities will ONLY come into play if your team is hosting the Sharks, because the Sharks have every intention of staying undefeated at home.

Possibility #1: Have some connection to last season's Florida Panthers lineup. 

All three losses featured teams that have some connection to the 2007-08 Florida Panthers lineup. Heck, one of the losses came at the hands of the Panthers themselves! Should the Sharks end up in the Cup Finals against the Cats, you'll know where to put your money.

As for the non-Floridian victors: Anaheim featured former Panther punk Steve Montador. Phoenix featured one Olli Jokinen AND Garth Murray.

Coincidence?

When the trade deadline approaches in February, and potential playoff match-ups present themselves more clearly, write letters to your respective GM pleading for him to trade for either Ruslan Salei (Colorado) or Mike Van Ryn (Toronto). There - you've got your work cut out for you.

Although, come to think of it, the Sharks DID beat the Avs at the Pepsi Center at the start of the month... which is why this is a possibility, not a guarantee.

Possibility #2:  Have thousands of empty seats in your arena.

Admittedly, this will be the hardest task for some of the fan bases out there (all 6 Canadian teams, natch). But I say this without sarcasm - if you want your team to get the best of us, have just a token amount of fans there to witness it. And don't go yourself.

Case in point - the Honda Center (despite its "official" attendance), BankAtlantic Center, and Jobing.com Arena were far from full when San Jose rode into town. The Sharks, who are used to a very rowdy HP Pavilion, must have found the ensuing silence too much to handle. San Jose's next away game is against the Chicago Blackhawks, who have picked the absolute worst time to start filling their arena again.

Wild Card Possibility #1:  If you want to increase your team's chances of success, petition them to make on-site parking free. That seemed to enhance both Florida and Phoenix's odds.

Wild Card Possibility #2:  Add ice girls, if you don't already have them - and do so quickly.

Traitor though I be - GO SHARKS!

This item was created by a member of this blog's community and is not necessarily endorsed by Fear The Fin.

3 recs  |  Comment 24 comments

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Excellent first post

I’d like to add one more:

Play the Sharks on one of their back-to-back days. We lost to Anaheim the night before beating Philly, we lost to Florida the night before beating Tampa, and we lost to Phoenix the night after beating Dallas. Clearly, this method only has a 50% chance of success, but that’s a better chance than every other team has had (0%).

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Neglectful father of David Quinowski

by marcello on Nov 10, 2008 10:16 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

Of course - it's so clear now!

Thanks for your input – it’s totally obvious now, and bodes badly for our upcoming Chicago / Nashville back-to-back games. I’m pretty sure Nashville has ice girls, too, PLUS empty seats – I’ll just have to swallow that pill when it comes my way.

by Mr. K. on Nov 10, 2008 10:49 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

You know, if we have to lose a game, at least we’ll get some ice girls.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Neglectful father of David Quinowski

by marcello on Nov 10, 2008 11:05 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

I’ll take seconds of that. Thirds too.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Neglectful father of David Quinowski

by marcello on Nov 10, 2008 11:16 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

if only

it was a sharks girl, then i might take seconds or even thirds

by idunno723 on Nov 10, 2008 11:19 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

i third Marcello?

or is it second That’ll Cheech You

anyway great post

by idunno723 on Nov 10, 2008 11:08 AM PST reply actions   0 recs

I'll have seconds

of the chicken marcello. No?

Yea… bad joke.

by That'll Cheech You on Nov 10, 2008 11:13 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

Bad jokes are the best.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Neglectful father of David Quinowski

by marcello on Nov 10, 2008 11:15 AM PST up reply actions   0 recs

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