The Lesser of Two Evils: FTF's pact with the Devil, aka Earl Sleek

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 5:00 AM PST in NHL News

"We must make a pact with the Devil to defeat the Greater Evil..."

"If Detroit invaded the Pond, I would at least make a favorable reference to Chris Pronger."

We, the supporters of the San Jose Sharks, have but one aim and one single irrevocable purpose. We are resolved to destroy Detroit and every vestige of the Red Wing regime. From this nothing will turn us. Nothing. We will never parley; we will never negotiate with Ken Holland or any of his gang - excepting his old assistant coach, ahem. We shall fight them on the ice; we shall fight them at home; we shall fight them on the road, until, with God's help, we have rid the earth of Detroit's shadow and liberated its people from their yoke.

Any man or State who fights against Detroit will have our aid. Any man or State who marches with Detroit is our foe. This applies not only to organized States but to all representatives of that vile race of bandwagoners who make themselves the tools and agents of the Red Wing regime against their fellow-countrymen and against the lands of their births. That is our policy and that is our declaration.

It follows, therefore, that we shall give whatever help we can to the Ducks and to the people of Anaheim, though they be our erstwhile foes. We shall appeal to all our friends and Allies in every part of the world (especially those at St. Louis Game Time) to take the same course and pursue it as we shall, faithfully and steadfastly to the end.

H/T to the British prime minister (a Sharks season ticket holder) for that stirring message.

Fellow Fins, do your best to hold back your vomit and stifle that teal conscience of yours as we throw our support behind ~~Joseph Stalin~~ Earl Sleek and the Anaheim Ducks. After all, tonight they are unquestionably the Lesser of Two Evils.

[Also - head over to Battle of California to show some love to Sleek and the gang. The puck drops at the Joe at 4:30 PST]

Poll

The Ducks are in Detroit - who are you rooting for? (NO third option!!!)

The Anaheim Ducks

81 votes

The Detroit Red Wings

12 votes

93 votes | Poll has closed

Tweet Comment 74 comments | 0 recs |

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Read More: Anaheim Ducks, Detroit Red Wings

Comments

Can't do it ...

Altho I am no longer rooting against the Ducks, more questioning “what happened to them?”, I still cannot bring myself to root FOR them. Even when they are playing the Wings. I am not mentally at that point yet. It will just be one of those games where I watch and hope for a gigantic sink hole.

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Feb 20, 2009 6:51 AM PST reply actions

Go, Sink Hole!!

by Section223 on Feb 20, 2009 7:32 AM PST up reply actions

I’m a “meteor fall on the arena” fan myself.

Bay Area born and bred.

by Nael M. on Feb 20, 2009 9:26 AM PST up reply actions

I was going to go with that, but thought I would try something different.

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Feb 20, 2009 11:58 AM PST up reply actions

Angels' team plane?

It takes a big man to cry and it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. -Jamie Baker

by Lurker Shark on Feb 20, 2009 12:24 PM PST up reply actions

I was thinking a rapid army of rally monkeys are set loose in Anaheim

spreading a highly contagious and deadly strain of Ebola, creating a full on epidemic that needs to be quarantined before President Obama orders a fuel-air bomb to be dropped over Disneyland to prevent OUTBREAK (yeah, it was a good movie)

I'm a happy seal

by SwisherThresher on Feb 20, 2009 12:38 PM PST up reply actions

I like this idea too.

And it might have the added side effect of Selig panicking and banning rally monkeys while claiming he knew nothing about them carrying Ebola. That was a good movie. Kevin Spacey and daisy cutters, how can you go wrong with that?

It takes a big man to cry and it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. -Jamie Baker

by Lurker Shark on Feb 20, 2009 12:55 PM PST up reply actions

You do realize both teams will be in distant Detroit when this bomb lands, right?

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Feb 20, 2009 2:33 PM PST up reply actions

I went on an MLB tangent

March 6th would be an epic day to drop the bomb – To save humanity of course. (it would have nothing to do with the Ducks hosting the Stars, and the Angels hosting the Giants)

I'm a happy seal

by SwisherThresher on Feb 20, 2009 2:47 PM PST up reply actions

actually

a few years back a small plane crashed into the parking lot in front of Angels stadium. I think it may have even been on a game day. I drove past there, totally unaware there was a plane taking up part of the road. It was quite the sight

resident cartoonist @couchtarts.blogspot.com

by CTGray on Feb 20, 2009 4:00 PM PST up reply actions

Nice Churchill reference.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Feb 20, 2009 7:20 AM PST reply actions

Well...

since the chances of the Gigantic Sink Hole or the Great Spaghetti Monster taking out both teams are slim. I will think some kind thoughts for our feathered fiends down south in their match with Detroit.

by TomatoShark on Feb 20, 2009 9:18 AM PST reply actions

The enemy of my enemy is my friend

Out here in Chicago the White Sox have a saying…“my two favorite teams are the go-go White Sox (Sharkies) and whoever plays the Cubs (Red Wings)”

by Chicago Shark on Feb 20, 2009 9:20 AM PST reply actions

Hmmm

I think I could quietly cheer for the Ducks when they’re completely eliminated from a playoff spot.

Overall, I’d rather see the downward spiral towards the the division cellar than beating a team we have a three-point lead on with two games in hand.

by buddahead9 on Feb 20, 2009 9:41 AM PST reply actions

buh buh but

Earl Sleek is evil…

(hides and runs away in anticipation for Sleek’s scary sarcasm)

I won’t root for the ducks but I’ll say, I want the Red Wings to lose, and the Ducks to lose less

"Gotta suck for the other teams. You finally catch the Sharks on an off night and you still lose." -Shark Man

by idunno723 on Feb 20, 2009 9:56 AM PST reply actions

Nah

Sleek isn’t necessarily evil. He’s just made a poor life decision. So we should be trying to help him see the error of his ways.

It takes a big man to cry and it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. -Jamie Baker

by Lurker Shark on Feb 20, 2009 10:37 AM PST up reply actions

I don’t know that those two things are mutually exclusive. I like to think I’m evil.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Feb 20, 2009 10:53 AM PST up reply actions

Well then I stand corrected.

It takes a big man to cry and it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. -Jamie Baker

by Lurker Shark on Feb 20, 2009 11:12 AM PST up reply actions

Well, I've done it before...

So I guess one more time won’t hurt… Even though I still feel a little bit dirty from the first time…

It takes a big man to cry and it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. -Jamie Baker

by Lurker Shark on Feb 20, 2009 10:34 AM PST reply actions

I continue to check the percentages at sportsclubstats

And I would be perfectly fine with the Ducks winning this one

Plus, if I voted for the Wings, I’d be banned from SBGT ; )

I'm a happy seal

by SwisherThresher on Feb 20, 2009 10:40 AM PST reply actions

I find myself

somewhere in between Ang and idunno. Not quite at the sink hole stage but will not root for the Ducks. Just can’t do it. That falls into the same category as rooting for the Dodgers. Nope, can’t do it.

Fear the Fin....where being an old guy isn't all bad

by Dave Valentine on Feb 20, 2009 10:50 AM PST reply actions

I vote sea cucmber

As I told Sleek, I can’t cheer for his Ducks to win, but I CAN cheer for the Wings to lose. It’s still a hard pill to swallow, but I can take one for my fellow Sharkies.

resident cartoonist @couchtarts.blogspot.com

by CTGray on Feb 20, 2009 10:54 AM PST reply actions

I didn't think of it that way

I can do that. But you’re right, I’ll need a shower afterwards.

Fear the Fin....where being an old guy isn't all bad

by Dave Valentine on Feb 20, 2009 10:59 AM PST up reply actions

Well done

The mere satellite states and colonial fodder of the league await the outcome of this historic pact — by continuing to till our barren soil and perhaps enjoy some beet soup on Sundays.

Lighthouse Hockey: SBN's New York Islanders blog with hip issues.

by Dominik on Feb 20, 2009 11:19 AM PST reply actions

I want a 3rd choice!!

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Feb 20, 2009 12:01 PM PST reply actions

From this nothing will turn us. Nothing. We will never parley; we will never negotiate with Ken Holland or any of his gang – excepting his old assistant coach, ahem.

Gets me every time. Brilliant story K.

Fear The Fin: Where The Second Round Is Overrated

by Mr. Plank on Feb 20, 2009 12:21 PM PST reply actions

Thanks man!

I realized that failure to amend Churchill’s speech with that appendum would leave FTF open to scrutiny.

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 2:35 PM PST up reply actions

*addendum

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 2:36 PM PST up reply actions

You have to root for the lesser threat

As much as it pains me to say this (and it really does) Go Ducks!!!

And Mason said to god, "May my clutch shots go in" And God said, "Yes. Yes they may my son"

by KA1Z3R on Feb 20, 2009 1:12 PM PST reply actions

Have you washed your mouth out with soap yet?

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Feb 20, 2009 2:09 PM PST up reply actions

I'm going to need to just dump acid

in my mouth to burn any evidence that I ever even said that.

And Mason said to god, "May my clutch shots go in" And God said, "Yes. Yes they may my son"

by KA1Z3R on Feb 20, 2009 2:10 PM PST up reply actions

I am forced to wonder

Does this pact mean that if the Ducks don’t make the playoffs, Sleek has to root for the Sharks?

resident cartoonist @couchtarts.blogspot.com

by CTGray on Feb 20, 2009 2:50 PM PST reply actions

Hmmmm

Now, isn’t that an interesting thought?

Fear the Fin....where being an old guy isn't all bad

by Dave Valentine on Feb 20, 2009 2:56 PM PST up reply actions

You don’t remember me pulling for the Sharks after the Ducks got eliminated last year?

I’m not sure that I’m the supporter you want — some say that since the cup win, I’m a kiss of death.

I’m not bound by any pact, but if there’s any BoC team ever playing a non-BoC team, I’ll take the west coast every time.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Feb 20, 2009 2:59 PM PST up reply actions

Well don’t you sorta have to? Since you run the Battle of California site? There needs to be a little obligation to all three, even if small to one over the others. :)

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Feb 20, 2009 3:29 PM PST up reply actions

Yeah, but it’s not because of BoC — I’ve been pro-west-coast well before I was a blogger, ever since I stumbled on the notion of east-coast bias. BoC just emerged as a later representation of that.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Feb 20, 2009 3:39 PM PST up reply actions

I admire your ability to put rivalries aside and root for the west

because I have a hard time rooting for anything Anaheim. You can blame the Angels and my stint in socal for that

resident cartoonist @couchtarts.blogspot.com

by CTGray on Feb 20, 2009 3:46 PM PST up reply actions

Well, the Ducks have to get eliminated first before I really think about “who next?”, but that’s been the formula.

And baseball, I think, is an entirely different story completely, because I don’t think there are any “non-traditional” baseball markets (I dunno, though). People might hate Angels fans, but it’s not just because of simple reasons like “baseball has no place in Southern California”.

Hockey definitely has a lot of that attitude.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Feb 20, 2009 4:01 PM PST up reply actions

That's true

I hadn’t thought of it that way. Baseball seems to thrive in many countries and I have never given it a second thought. Which is probably why I find those “hockey has no place in X” arguments to be beyond annoying and beyond ridiculous.

resident cartoonist @couchtarts.blogspot.com

by CTGray on Feb 20, 2009 4:06 PM PST up reply actions

It’s sort of the BoC ideology, in a sense. We’re not a group of fanbases that is particularly liked or respected from other “traditional” hockey markets, and we’re not particularly liked or respected from other Californians who don’t understand the sport, either.

There’s plenty of room for Ducks fans, Kings fans, and Sharks fans to hate each others’ teams and at times each other, but there is a basic tenet that I do believe: I have way more in common with a Kings fan or a Sharks fan than I do with (a) a Red Wings fan, or (b) a Lakers fan (insert whatever teams make sense there).

And thus: BoC.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Feb 20, 2009 4:15 PM PST up reply actions

I'll drink to that

but I’m still not sure about going to a Sharks v Ducks game in Orange County. ;) I know how (some) Sharks fans treat fans of the opposing team, I have to think some Ducks fans are about as crazy.

resident cartoonist @couchtarts.blogspot.com

by CTGray on Feb 20, 2009 4:32 PM PST up reply actions

you can tell

my two baseball away game experiences have been…interesting.

resident cartoonist @couchtarts.blogspot.com

by CTGray on Feb 20, 2009 4:35 PM PST up reply actions

You know

since you put it that way, I do feel rather small with those feelings of mine.

Okay, I hope Detroit loses. I’ll try, a little, to root for the Ducks.

In the end though, I’m afraid you’re a better man than I

Fear the Fin....where being an old guy isn't all bad

by Dave Valentine on Feb 20, 2009 3:48 PM PST up reply actions

First period update

Ryan Getzlaf scored FIFTY-TWO SECONDS into the game against ConkBlock, assisted by Pronger (playing in his 1,000th game) and Teemu Selanne. Anaheim up 1-0.

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 4:59 PM PST reply actions

Game tied

Daniel Cleary ties it 13 minutes later, assisted by Zetterberg and Kronwall.

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 5:08 PM PST up reply actions

where's a game thread for this?

someone post one up!!!

And Mason said to god, "May my clutch shots go in" And God said, "Yes. Yes they may my son"

by KA1Z3R on Feb 20, 2009 5:16 PM PST up reply actions

Where's idunno when you need him?

Not sure myself… not watching. Detroit up 2-1 in 2nd period on a power play goal by Pavel Datsyuk.

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 5:41 PM PST up reply actions

3-1 now

bah

resident cartoonist @couchtarts.blogspot.com

by CTGray on Feb 20, 2009 5:53 PM PST up reply actions

Here’s the stream, if you still want it.

by mymclife on Feb 20, 2009 5:55 PM PST up reply actions

Thanks!

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 5:58 PM PST up reply actions

Detroit outshooting the Ducks....

11 to 4 in the 2nd period… yuck.

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 6:07 PM PST up reply actions

Why I’m right here!

"Gotta suck for the other teams. You finally catch the Sharks on an off night and you still lose." -Shark Man

by idunno723 on Feb 20, 2009 6:14 PM PST up reply actions

Off topic reminder to all

Tonight is Conan O’Brien’s final night on Late Night – he’s taking a few months off before taking over Jay Leno’s slot at the end of May.

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 6:08 PM PST reply actions

I didn't forget!

And if you wanna watch it at Nine o’clock PST…

There’s a stream for that!

"Gotta suck for the other teams. You finally catch the Sharks on an off night and you still lose." -Shark Man

by idunno723 on Feb 20, 2009 6:15 PM PST up reply actions

You

Are a gem – I was going to have to miss the first half. Thank you, idunno.

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 6:19 PM PST up reply actions

Don't thank me

Thank the internet

"Gotta suck for the other teams. You finally catch the Sharks on an off night and you still lose." -Shark Man

by idunno723 on Feb 20, 2009 6:22 PM PST up reply actions

Uh-oh's Mr. K

That stream is a dead stream.

I guess this stream should show it around 9:30 to 10:00

"Gotta suck for the other teams. You finally catch the Sharks on an off night and you still lose." -Shark Man

by idunno723 on Feb 20, 2009 9:15 PM PST up reply actions

9:35 is my guess

"Gotta suck for the other teams. You finally catch the Sharks on an off night and you still lose." -Shark Man

by idunno723 on Feb 20, 2009 9:28 PM PST up reply actions

Thanks man

I was wondering… but I’m currently watching Chris Isaak on Leno, so kudos for the update.

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 9:32 PM PST up reply actions

I was a huge Conan fan for a while, especially during the writer’s strike (that crossover stuff with Colbert and Stewart was pure genius), but slowly stopped watching him. I’ll definitely have to watch him tonight.

And, if anyone’s interested:
Conan vs. Colbert vs. Stewart
Conan skating with the Maple Leafs

by mymclife on Feb 20, 2009 6:31 PM PST up reply actions

I'm a little late to the party

but I’d like to identify myself as a conscientious objector.

by senor_k on Feb 20, 2009 6:10 PM PST reply actions

(but I still hope it doesn’t go into overtime.)

by senor_k on Feb 20, 2009 6:11 PM PST up reply actions

Oh, no doubt – 3 point games NOT involving the Sharks (and sometimes even those!) are the worst.

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 6:20 PM PST up reply actions

You know it's a party when...

There’s a senor_k aannndddd a Mr. K

"Gotta suck for the other teams. You finally catch the Sharks on an off night and you still lose." -Shark Man

by idunno723 on Feb 20, 2009 6:20 PM PST up reply actions

Lampshades anyone?

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 6:23 PM PST up reply actions

Is that

Plank?

Fear the Fin....where being an old guy isn't all bad

by Dave Valentine on Feb 20, 2009 6:46 PM PST up reply actions

Could be Chris Chelios underneath…

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 6:47 PM PST up reply actions

I bring the party with me, baby!

by senor_k on Feb 20, 2009 6:32 PM PST up reply actions

i want the ducks to win

to give us some breathing room over the red wings, our lead over anaheim is big enough that a couple wins won’t hurt.

"It aint over till the fat lady sings." - Not Yogi Berra

by serrapadre716 on Feb 20, 2009 6:52 PM PST reply actions

Absolutely – but unfortunately it’s 4-2 Detroit with 5 minutes left (probably less – I turned the stream off to multi-task elsewhere).

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 6:53 PM PST up reply actions

Wings win

BOO

"Gotta suck for the other teams. You finally catch the Sharks on an off night and you still lose." -Shark Man

by idunno723 on Feb 20, 2009 7:03 PM PST up reply actions

Well gang...

Detroit wins 5-2… they have won another battle, but they shall not win the war.

Fear The Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008

by Mr. K. on Feb 20, 2009 7:02 PM PST reply actions

If there is any one thing that fans of other teams can agree upon,

it is that Detroit must be stopped. Nice to see that the enemy of our enemy must somehow be our friend. An unholy and uneasy alliance, yes, but seriously, F Detroit.

(see how I kept it clean there? I can do it in small bursts, I swear.)

SWYD

by gallagher on Feb 21, 2009 11:23 PM PST reply actions