Ever since Dwight rattled off a stanza in that classic episode of the Office (Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe. Ryan started the fire!), I've loved Billy Joel's classic listing song. Helped me pass the US History AP exam, that's for sure.

And it is always fun to see what song parodies come out for the playoffs - the Flames tend to be particularly good at parodies (save for the unfortunate Flames Face).

So when Lurker Shark suggested that we either trade for Iginla or someone make a similar parody video to this one, I jumped on it. With the help of Section223 and a10dency2ask, a Sharks version of one of the worst songs ever recorded was written.

But enough of that self-promoting - Plank came up with a brilliant idea, one that requires all you FTFers to bare your souls and channel that part of yourself - however small - that desparetely wants to try out for American Idol.

Basically? Each FTFer will sing a part of the song, probably a stanza or two each (its dependent on the number of participants). All the lines will be sent to whoever is lucky enough to have Garageband or some other sound-mixing program, they'll be layered over the "instrumental" track I found on YouTube (quotes because there is backup singing during the chorus), and success! A totally awesome FTF video to show the internets just how much we rock.

"How do I record myself singing?" you ask; well, there are a few ways you can go about doing it.

1. You are lucky and have a Mac, and therefore have a webcam, mic, and Garageband all built in. You suck.
2. You have sound-mixing software and a mic already. Just use that. Duh.
3. You have a digital camera. Use the video record setting, and then "film" yourself singing. After copying the file from the camera's memory card to your computer, use free software (like from here) to rip the sound from the video. This is how I do it.
   

But in any case, make sure that you don't have the music in the background. How do you do that? Download the karaoke version to your iPod, and listen to it from there while singing out loud. Extra credit goes to those who sing the chorus, or even the entire song. And by extra credit, I mean nothing.

For those who really, really, really don't want to sing, you can help by gathering pictures for the lyrics. Or even video clips that would work well during the chorus or instrumental parts, those are needed too. Another person can be the one putting all of this together; that personally should preferably have Garageband and iMovie and a good knowledge of the song "We Didn't Start the Fire," but that last one isn't totally necessary.

Enough of all this explanation talk - what you really want to see are the lyrics, right? *pauses while I image people cheering* Alright, here they are! 

Patrick Marleau, Waterboy, enter Seek and Destroy
Win Pacific, Western Conference, President’s Trophy

Todd McLellan, Tomas Plihal, bitter rivals post-game brawl
SJ Sharkie, Home advantage, section 2-0-9

First game, Anaheim, it’s not going overtime
4 in the Quacker’s net, yummy pizza we will get

Semenov at left wing, gotta be the weirdest thing
Staubitz meets a Nashville pest, Tootoo’s face a bloody mess

CHORUS
We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world was turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we try to fight it

Setoguchi, Nabokov, puck shot wide by Ehrhoff
Jamie Baker, Rusanowsky, radio hosts

Game on, Randy Hahn, Drew Remenda’s hair’s gone
HP Pavilion, Santa Clara Street

Super-loud five on three, Patty gets a shorty
Stuart, Sturm, and Primeau, traded to get Big Joe

Pickles’ clutch on two-on-one, scoring chance is down to none
Michalek a breakaway, speed'll make 'em all pay

CHORUS

Shark Tank, San Jose, Crowd chanting ‘Beat LA!’
JR’s here, never fear, got at least ONE MORE YEAR!

Many many shots on goal, Gooch going 5 hole
Shelley dropping gloves again, racking up the P I M

Torrey Mitchell super-fast, spent all season in a cast
Disciplined and civil, heads are on a swivel

Crankshaft kicking lots of ass, checking hard into the glass
Wings at the Tank again, best game of the season

CHORUS

Lukowich, Joslin, this team is built to win
Boyler, Blakey, Mighty Joe Pavelski

Turco gave a goal away, he's golfing in April and May
GM Wilson, trading all the round ones.

Boucher, KGB, speaking like a Ruskie
San Jose, all the way, what else do I have to say

CHORUS

Grier, Goc, Clowe, McGinn, Pepe’s on the ice again
First place, erase, second round disgrace

Pronger, Belfour, we hate them, injuries are not condemned
Parros versus Shelley, hockey fights are fun to see

Murray’s behind in your gut, Pavelski phantom headbutt
No regrets, empty nets, records are what this team sets

Boyle's got a strong arm goal, power play is on a roll
Stanley Cup is here for sure, I can’t take it anymore!

CHORUS