FJM'ing Jay Feaster

by idunno723 on Sep 21, 2009 11:58 AM PDT Comment 15 comments

Woohoo idunno723 ~~attempts~~ does another Fire Joe Morgan like FanPost!

Background on Fire Joe Morgan (by me of course):

I don't know if you guys are familiar with this blog called Fire Joe Morgan.. They were brilliant. Every terrible baseball article, they ripped them. It was fantastic. Sadly their blog ended but when I'm bored I still read old posts because they're awesome.

Recently FJM came back and made some articles on Deadspin and that got me all riled up. I am now inspired to ~~try to~~ make a FJM-like post. Thankfully Jay Feaster wrote this article.

Jay Feaster's Blog: Trading for Heatley a mistake by San Jose

ZOMG PLAYOFF CHOKER!!11!!!1111

While it is still early, Bryan Murray is my front-runner for executive of the year honors this season. Murray took one very sour lemon and parlayed it into two refreshing glasses of lemonade by moving self-centered Dany Heatley to San Jose for solid NHLers Jonathan Cheechoo and Milan Michalek. The trade itself may not go down as one that rocked the sport, but, given the circumstances, Murray clearly pulled a rabbit from his hat and helped his hockey team in the process.

Bryan Murray is a genius. He got an aging right-winger in Jonathan Cheechoo and a I'm-never-going-to-reach-my-potential Milan Michalek. Bryan Murray wasn't even able to get a first round draft pick out of that deal.

Historically, I have been a Doug Wilson fan. He seemed to understand the importance of chemistry and the need to acquire players who value the crest on the front of their sweater more than the name on the back. Last year’s acquisition of Stanley Cup champion Dan Boyle from the Lightning was such a move. No one is more committed to the "team concept" than Dan. While the Sharks crashed and burned again in the first round last season, I believed they had started to turn a corner.

Dan Boyle is terrible. I think that's why he's a front-runner for the captaincy this year.

The acquisition of Heatley makes me rethink the future in San Jose. Wilson looks more like a mad scientist running about the lab tossing chemicals into the beaker with little regard to their compatibility, or combustibility, for that matter. Oh, Doug said the Sharks did their homework - and then some - before acquiring Heatley. Really?

Yep, that's right. Doug Wilson is friggin' crazy. 50 goal scorer who the hell want's that! Not to mention he'll be playing with Joe Thornton... PLAYOFF CHOKERS UNITE!!111!!!!!!11111

For a group that appears to need more leadership, grit and mental toughness, how is Heatley the answer? After signing a new long-term contract in Ottawa, (five years left, $7.5-million cap hit per season) Heatley decided he wanted out because he was unhappy with his "reduced role" under new head coach Cory Clouston. Imagine, a head coach with the courage of his convictions.

Dany Heatley with Joe Thornton...

What a shock to find a coach who believes that players, even superstar players who have scored 50 goals twice, must "earn" their ice time! Blasphemy! Second power play unit, reduced ice time, all designed not to keep Dany happy, but to help the team win more hockey games! Shocking!

............

If Sharks head coach Todd McLellan knows what is good for him he had better name Heatley captain of the team right now. What better way to keep Dany happy and show him he is loved? McLellan has already indicated he thinks he will place Heatley with ‘Jumbo’ Joe Thornton and Devin Setoguchi on the top line. Stop the presses! Did he have a choice?

Dany Heatley had a NTC. If he wanted to go to San Jose he would have waived it. Oh yeah never mind I forgot. He never wanted to go to San Jose... that's why he waived it!

What if he put Heatley with lesser lights such as Patrick Marleau and Ryan Clowe? Would the snub be enough for Dany to want out? Think Heatley will be on McLellan’s No. 1 power play unit? Is there any other option? (Because Heatley’s no-movement clause remains in full force in San Jose, he remains in control.)

Yeah, tell me again why Todd would do that? Why would Heatley not be on the No. 1 power play unit? It's not like he's a goal-scorer... wait....

McLellan’s job is no longer worrying about the group of players known as the Sharks. It is about the care and feeding of me-first Dany Heatley. Good luck, Todd. When the inmates run the asylum it’s usually the head coach who pays the price.

Yup. Dany Heatley already played in 1 preseason game... LOCKER ROOM CANCER HELLOOOOO!

Now burn me about my post.

This item was created by a member of this blog's community and is not necessarily endorsed by Fear The Fin.

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Comments

Dog Bites Man, Jay Feaster Overreacts

Three words: Brad Richards’ contract.

That is all.

by ievans on Sep 21, 2009 12:02 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

His lack of respect for McLellan is what irritated me the most

As if McLellan would suddenly lose control of his locker room to one player. Mac is about as good a coach as they come and his demeanor demands respect. He’ll let the players lead on the ice, but he will always have the say who plays where, ice time, ect.

Lost in this is that Heatley had made it clear he just wanted to play for a winning team with Stanley Cup aspirations (something neither Ottawa nor Edmonton could provide). Perhaps it’s a bit short-sided, but the Sharks are that team, and will be for the forseeable future. If things do get sour after a few years, trade him again, you may not get any more value then Ottawa did, but I just don’t see how a player like him will never have teams knocking at the door if made available.

Oh, so that's where you edit your signature

by Teas on Sep 21, 2009 12:11 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Hi, I'm Jay Feaster

I take the opposite stance, because I want page hits. I heard Dany Heatley gave a cancer to the clubhouse, even though I didn’t think it was contagious. I heard he’s never won a Stanley Cup, so he’s a choker, even though he’s a point per game player in the playoffs. Stats are for losers.

I will not eat my words if I am wrong.

Thanks.

Fear the Fin: Where... IMA TAKING UR BLOGZ FRUM U!!

by That'll Cheech You on Sep 21, 2009 12:21 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Not to mention he’ll be playing with Joe Thornton… PLAYOFF CHOKERS UNITE11111

Solid.

Fear the Fin: If you're a Fin, you're family.

by Conico do Mayo Miracle on Sep 21, 2009 12:23 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Ahh, I miss FJM.

Always a good read when killing time at work. This article was pretty ridic, almost to the point that I’m wondering if it was written totally tongue in cheek….although I’m not sure Feaster has the mental capacity to be funny and ironic like that.

Not a bad FJM impression, though :)

Sometimes the impossible can become possible if you're AWESOME!

by ZeroIndulgence on Sep 21, 2009 1:02 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Haha thanks.

I miss them too. After reading them on Deadspin I just had to do this.

-The dude responsible for this mess

by idunno723 on Sep 21, 2009 3:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I read it, RT'd it

and then promptly forgot about it. It was so over the top I couldn’t take it all that seriously. To each their own, I suppose…

resident cartoonist @CouchTarts Endorsed by Mr. K on "CINCODEMYOOR!!!!!" Proud member of the "Don't Trade Marleau" Club

by CTGray on Sep 21, 2009 1:23 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I usually like his blog/stuff in The Hockey News because it gives me some insight into what goes on in a GM’s head but this article just doesn’t make sense. I am fine with people disagreeing with the trade/not liking it but at least use some facts.

by AfroPuff on Sep 21, 2009 2:02 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Long time lurker, first time poster

Doug had a good point the press brief. Plenty of other players have secretly asked to be moved but they didn’t get torn apart by the press as badly as Heatley has. Chris Pronger for example. And we all know how badly the team that received sucked in the playoffs…

by Mr Tea on Sep 21, 2009 4:23 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Chris Pronger wasn’t torn apart in the press? I’m pretty sure he was public enemy no. 1 in Edmonton after his trade request. I think there were effigies of him burned.

But still, your point stands outside of that example.

"I think I realized after the second or third punch, I should have taken his helmet off sooner." - Ryane Clowe
Proud member of the "Don't Trade Marleau" Club
Fools and Sages

by mymclife on Sep 21, 2009 4:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I am sure the losing city

will forever hate that player, but I’m sure Pronger didn’t have Jay Feaster calling him a locker room cancer on a national level. Edmonton played it close to the vest and shopped Pronger quietly. Murray allowed the request to leak out. All that did was paint him into a corner and devalued Heatley’s trade value.

by Mr Tea on Sep 21, 2009 4:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

True

But Heatley doesn’t have people breaking into his house and burning his furniture, speculation about affairs and illegitimate children, and so on because of his trade request. I think, compared to Pronger, Heatley has it easy.

"I think I realized after the second or third punch, I should have taken his helmet off sooner." - Ryane Clowe
Proud member of the "Don't Trade Marleau" Club
Fools and Sages

by mymclife on Sep 21, 2009 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

wwwoooo

Good point. Pronger is a bad example. There’s got to be more dudes that have asked for trades. Maybe it never leaked that some asked to be traded. Hell, Errhoff could have asked to be traded for all we know. Its an extreme example, but I think we both are on the same wavelength.

by Mr Tea on Sep 21, 2009 7:53 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

It does seem like someone in Ottawa's looth lipth were thinking thips.

Barely anything gossip related seems to squeak out of SJ’s, which is a testament to the back office staff. I’m guessing Ottawa is not as fortunate.

I think Mr. Heatley’s past and playing standard has meant that news on him is worth a little more than most other players, therefore the bounty is greater, and the price he pays is steeper.

Most guys that request a trade we probably never hear about it.

"iaT"S FUCKINGE LIEK CONICO DO MAYO!!!!!111"
Mr. K. 5/5/2009

by Morti on Sep 21, 2009 4:48 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs