Byfuglien got run over by a Crankshaft,

Trying to cross the blue line, Christmas Eve.

You can say he's not the greatest skater

Just try to tell him he's slow as you bleed.

Dustin was skating with his head down

as he tried to leave the zone.

He wasn't looking for that big Swede

with an unquenched thirst for blood and iron bones.

When they found him Christmas morning, 

at the scene of the attack,

he couldn't remember what his name was, 

but at 15:32 it all went black.

Byfuglien got run over by a Crankshaft,

Trying to cross the blue line, Christmas Eve.

You can say he's not the greatest skater

Just try to tell him he's slow as you bleed.

Now we're all so proud of Byfuglien

He's been playing so well now

But that's because of the concussion 

He thinks it's 1952 and he's Gordie Howe

Dan Boyle's play is flashy

And Vlasic's a master with the stick

But don't fear them when you're skating

Just look out for that wall of Swedish brick

Byfuglien got run over by a Crankshaft,

Trying to cross the blue line, Christmas Eve.

You can say he's not the greatest skater

Just try to tell him he's slow as you bleed.

Now Byfuglien is with Atlanta

And he's trying to move past

But he always has the same dream

Nightmares of a Swedish tank named Douglas

He's warned all his Thrasher teammates

"The Eastern Conference is a joke!"

But I guess they'll learn their lesson

When it becomes their collarbone that Murray broke

Byfuglien got run over by a Crankshaft,

Trying to cross the blue line, Christmas Eve.

You can say he's not the greatest skater

Just try to tell him he's slow as you bleed.