Sung to the tune of "I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas"

I want a Stanley Cup-amus this season
Only the Stanley Cup-amus will do
Not the Sabres, or silly Derek Roy
I want a Stanley Cup-amus to play with and enjoy

I want a Stanley Cup-amus this season
I don't think Bettman will allow, do you?
He won't have to use our revenue sharing
Just give it as a Summer bonus, that's the easy thing to do

I can see me now on Juneteenth, waking up the neighbors
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a Conn Smythe hero standing there

I want a Stanley Cup-amus this season
Only the Stanley Cup-amus will do
Not Detroit, not for Columbuses
I only like Stanley Cup-amuses
And Stanley Cup-amuses like me too

Mom says winning the Cup would spoil me, but then
Teacher says the Cup would bring us more fans

There's lots of room for him on our big trophy rack
I'd keep him there with Calder and Richard and turtle wax
I can see me now on Juneteenth, waking up the neighbors
Oh what joy and what surprise when I open up my eyes
To see a Conn Smythe hero standing there

I want a Stanley Cup-amus this season
Only the Stanley Cup-amus will do
Not Detroit, not for Columbuses
I only like Stanley Cup-amuses
And Stanley Cup-amuses like me too!