Sharks Playoff Day (St Crispin's Day)

For some reason or other, whenever I'm psyched up I listen to one of two speeches. Either Al Pacino's speech at the end of "Scent of A Woman" or the "Saint Crispin's Day" speech from Henry V. So with all do respect to Mr. Shakespeare, here is an rephrasing of Henry V's speech adapted for today.

SHARKS PLAYOFF DAY

What's he that wishes so?

My brother Plank? No, my fair brothers and sisters;

If we are mark'd to die, we are enow

To do our team loss; and if to live,

The further advance, the greater share of honour.

God's will! I pray thee, wish not one fair-weather fan more.

By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,

Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;

It yearns me not if men my jerseys wear;

Such outward things dwell not in my desires.

But if it be a sin to covet our Lord Stanley,

I am the most offending soul alive.

No, faith, my brothers and sisters, wish not a bandwagon fan.

God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour

As one fan more methinks would share from me

For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!

Rather proclaim it, Plank, through this host,

That he which hath no stomach to this fight,

Let him depart; his passport shall be made,

And money for cabs put into his purse;

We would not die in that fan's company

That fears his fellowship to die with us.

This day is call'd Sharks Playoff Day.

He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,

Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,

And rouse him at the name of Sharks.

He that shall live this day, and see old age,

Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,

And say 'To-morrow are The Playoffs.'

Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,

And say 'These wounds I had when Sharks did play.'

Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,

But he'll remember, with advantages,

What feats he did that day. Then shall their names,

Familiar in his mouth as household words-

Cocky Nabby, Patty Marleau and Jumbo Joe,

Boyle and Pavs, Heatley and Clowe-

Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.

This story shall the good man teach his son;

And Sharks Playoff Day shall ne'er go by,

From this day to the ending of the world,

But we in it shall be remembered-

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he to-day that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,

This day shall gentle his condition;

And fans across the land then-a-bed

Shall think themselves accurs'd they did not cheer,

And hold their fanhoods cheap whiles any speaks

That fought with us upon Sharks Playoff day.

GO SHARKS.