Enjoy my lame attempt at being funny...A lot of this is based on FTF inside jokes, like Wingels being a kid and McGinn a dick. And awkward Marleau...The only comedy you'll even think of finding in this is how bad it is, but here's my attempt. Yeah...its horrible

(Scene opens with Jamie McGinn and Wingels on Santa's lap.)

Jamie McGinn: Santa, why am I a dick?

Tommy Wingels: Santa, he said a bad word. Is that okay, or does he go on your naughty list?

Santa: Why the hell would a dick be on my nice list?

Wingels: YOU SAY IT TOO?

(Scene shifts to Marleau talking with Thornton, who is cracking a joke. Marleau attempts to high five him. Pavelski and Thornton shift away...)

Marleau: There's something missing in my stomach....can't imagine what...

(Something jumps out at him...it looks like a big head of plaster looking oddly like Logan Couture, with a human body)

Couture: Hey Patty! How's it going?

Marleau: What the HELL is with that?

Couture: What, you think I got that nickname "bust" for nothing?

Pavelski: Um...Cooch? That's not how you got it....

Couture: WHAT?

(Overwhelmed at the shock, Couture drops his ice cream. Greiss runs in and makes the save, and simultaneously rescues a baby from the clutches of a confused Jamie McGinn, who shrugs and goes back to bugging a frustrated Santa, who meanwhile tries to shove a wailing Tommy Wingels off of his lap.)

Greiss: TA DA!

Couture: Wow, thanks!

Marleau: Can you do that in games too? I'd love to see that everyday! Too bad the Fin gets to start. Haha, see guys? Fin and Finn? It's a pun. Quite Punny! Hahaha see what I did there?

Niemi: ....

(Everyone slowly backs away, leaving a baffled Marleau with Santa and Tommy Wingels, who is eagerly telling Santa all about the naughty things Jamie McGinn has done, and what he wants for Christmas. Santa listens with a confused look, and at this point it is noticed Santa is a guy who looks oddly like Doug Wilson with a white beard and a fat red suit. Santa takes out a can of spray tan and complains about it being empty, leaving Marleau agape)

Santa: Tommy, get off my lap! NOW!

Wingels: MOM!

Corey Perry, Ryan Getzlaf: Hi guys!!

All the Sharks: ...creep...get out.

Santa: Okay, Corey, what's the point? You know I never give you what you want.

Perry: That explains our top line...

Santa: Yeah. And why the hell did you try drinking from that fountain that Teemu Selanne bathes in every day anyways?{This was taken from Down Goes Brown, BTW}

Perry: ...I was...um...trying to come up with hair renewal therapy for Ryan Getzlaf...

Getzlaf: I heard that!

Thornton: Like my picture of my dream pet? (Gestures to a huge, hairy elephant photo on the wall...)

Couture: Jumbo, when they said you loved wooly mammoths...my god...well...

Thornton: What....?!

(Thornton's face twists in rage)

Santa: Everyone get the hell out. Now

(Marleau runs through the door, and Couture and Pavelski do as well. Santa quickly picks up Wingels and runs, telling Cliff Fletcher he'll call him back later, though God knows why. Corey Perry runs to the door and promptly locks it, then tries to get out, although come to think of it, he may have done it in the wrong order...Getzlaf pounds on the door, but all he gets is a frowny face from Tommy Wingels)

Some things are better left unsaid, so we'll leave Corey Perry's fate for later. Merry Christmas and a happy new year everyone, and I hope you haven't burst into tears reading this bad attempt at a comedy. Yeah, I fail :P