Did you know that yesterday was the one month anniversary of the last time the NHL played a game? It's true; it's been over a month since we last got our hockey fix. Oh, there was the draft and free agency, and the phrase "We have a trade to announce" was a shot of adrenaline akin to an odd-man rush, but that was the nicotine patch to a decades-long cigarette addiction.
People have dealt with this in different ways. Some examine advanced stats on a PhD level. Some make jokes about a made-for-TV movie that tangentially relates to the team. Some throw themselves into watching a sport where there are more shots of people eating than there are of on-field action. And some decide to spend their time going through every single page of the Sharks official site.
That last person was me. And what was found was Fin Facts.
Not satisfied with the normal achievements and milestones that normally populate the "Notes" section of each player’s page, the Sharks decided to include "Fin Facts" about each of the players. You know, a pun on "fun facts." Because they're fun facts about players who play for a team called the Sharks. As it's July and there's pretty much nothing to write about, you get to read this.
All of these were found on the Sharks official website. I didn't make up any of these. I couldn't make up some of these.
Pavel Bure was his hockey idol growing up - James Sheppard
Donates a suite to children that are stricken with illness to each Sharks home game - Martin Havlat
Organized a charity game bringing together members of the 2010 Stanley Cup Champion Chicago Blackhawks called "Champs for Charity", which raised over $323,000 for the Ronald McDonald House near Lurie Children’s Hospital - Adam Burish
Member of the Advisory Board for the You Can Play Project - Tommy Wingels
Donates a suite to active and retired servicemen and women to each Sharks home game - Brent Burns
Cool story, bro
Grows a red beard even though he has brown hair - Joe Pavelski
He can name all of the exits on I-80 in Nevada due to his several car rides across the country - Marc-Edouard Vlasic
Was a tremendous baseball player growing up and won several Canadian Hit-Run-Throw Contests - Logan Couture
Ardent supporter of the San Jose Earthquakes (MLS) and once had a penalty kicking competition with their goaltender Jon Busch in which each took turns attempting to score on one another - Jason Demers
Fun facts that are really about another player
Logan Couture is relieved that Stuart is now a teammate as he said Stuart is the League’s hardest hitter, getting him three times in the last two seasons - Brad Stuart
Player watches too much E! Network
Dreams of being able to rap like Drake - Logan Couture
Recently did an interview with Shuli Egar from the Howard Stern Show and called it "the pinnacle of my interview career" - Joe Thornton
Really enjoys NBC’s "The Voice" and the catchy jingle that accompanies the show - Dan Boyle
His dream is to have a jam session with rock icon John Mayer - Brent Burns
Thoroughly enjoyed Maroon 5’s song "Payphone" when it came out last summer - Martin Havlat
A proud member of Team Coco, he is an ardent supporter of the Conan O’Brien Show and dreams to one day be a guest - Dan Boyle
Would be Schmidt from the TV show "New Girl" if he could be any character on TV - Jason Demers
Believes he looks like Matt Damon - Antti Niemi
Avid ______ with wife
An avid dog lover, he and his wife drive across country after every season so they can transport their two dogs back to Quebec - Marc-Edouard Vlasic
An avid viewer of the Food Network and several cooking shows, he enjoys experimenting in the kitchen and cooks most dinner’s for he and his wife - Andrew Desjardins
His hidden talent is the fact that he can speak French, which is no longer hidden now - Matt Irwin
His favorite Avenger is Iron Man, but he does not own an Iron Man suit. He also has an immense respect for The Hulk - Patrick Marleau
Is in no way related to Scooter Braun, who is Justin Bieber’s manager - Justin Braun
He enjoys comic book movies, including The Green Lantern which he admits wasn’t very good - Scott Hannan
Howie Mandel’s views regarding the spread of germs
Can relate to Howie Mandel’s views regarding the spread of germs - Patrick Marleau