Torrey Mitchell and the Magical Hands

As you can tell, I was really bored, and decided to pay homage to the one highlight reel goal Torrey Mitchell scores every year. Get better Torrey! Oh, and by the way, I can't write very well. Anyways...


As the alarm clock obnoxiously beckoned, Torrey Mitchell groggily awakened from his slumber, fell out of his bed with a thump, and prepared for another day at the rink. Repeating his superstitious routine, everything was proceeding normally until he broke order and opened his brand new box of Angry Birds cereal. As he eagerly tore the bag open, he felt a jolt, as a mysterious force dispersed throughout his body. He dropped the box, spilling cereal across the floor, and proceeded to slip on the scattered grain, dropping with (another) large thump. He grumbled something that no one should ever have the pleasure of hearing, and dusted himself off. Torrey, agitated with this klutzy string of events, failed to notice the mystic force emanating from his body as he slid into his car and headed to the rink.

Fast forward to the evening. Mitchell stepped on the ice, in his mind presumably for just another humdrum shift. As he saw his teammate Jumbo Joe Thornton receive the puck, he activated, racing through the blue line, and obtained the puck. As he encountered Dallas defenseman Alex Goligoski, a strange jolt came over him, which sent his mind racing back to the morning's eventful happenings. He went numb as he stared bewildered at his hands, which began to move by themselves, handling the puck. Mitchell reminisced about previous years, and he suddenly pinpointed where he had experienced the incident before: "Yes! That's it , you idiot! The Magic Hands! (Expletive) yeah!" Then, the Hands went to work. From forehand, the puck was pulled through the "Bermuda Triangle" between Goligoski's body and stick. Backhand, as the Hands pulled the puck back, testing that area one more time as Goligoski attempted to poke the puck away. Then the Hands slid sideways forehand to backhand, but as Mitchell seemed poised for a shot on goal, his back skate gave out and he fell to a knee, thinking, "Keep on your feet, you (string of expletives)!" However, the Hands were there to save the day, jerking forward and slinging the puck past goalie Kari Lehtonen's blocker into the net mere seconds before time expired. As Torrey celebrated, he dreamed about a meteoric rise to Gretzky levels, but alas, it was not to be. The spirit of the Hands quietly drifted from Mitchell's body and floated out of the building to hibernate, and Torrey Mitchell would have to wait another year.

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