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John Tortorella to be named USA head coach

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Lol.

Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

In an effort to lose as many games as possible at the 2016 World Cup of Hockey, Team USA will name Stanley Cup-winner John Tortorella as head coach later today.

Tort's last coaching stint came with the Vancouver Canucks, and I think we all remember how that went. If you're a fan of the Sharks but not a fan of Team USA, you're in luck! The international team you're a fan of now has better odds of taking home the gold. If you're a fan of Team USA, well, hey, you didn't expect them to win anything anyway, right>