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2016 Stanley Cup Final: Writing a letter to an idiot San Jose Sharks blogger from 2014

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Editor's note: This is a response to the author's absolutely terrible article titled "F*ck the SAn Jose Sharks" which ran just under two years ago.


Hey 2014 Jake,

So listen, I know you're pretty mad about the Sharks right now. You have good reason to be upset. They just lost in about as painful a fashion as they could lose in and to a team you really hate right now. You're going through some stuff personally and you want to take it all out on the Sharks. I get it.

Also, you're an idiot.

I know, I know that's not helpful but oh my god dude would you relax a little bit? You know this is just hockey, right? It's a sport played by grown men with a little rubber disc. It's not that big a deal. It'll be fine. You don't believe me? Well, that's fair. I don't think we expected much good news to come the Sharks way following all the stupid-ass stuff Doug Wilson had done following the 2014 collapse.

So let's start with the good news. First — Patrick Marleau and Joe Thornton are both still Sharks! I know! Wild! It seemed like a foregone conclusion that we'd lose at least one of the two best Sharks to ever wear teal, but Wilson never pulled the trigger (or Thornton and Marleau didn't let him, who cares).

In fact, the team Wilson put together in 2016 is just a better version of the team that played in the 2013-14 season. Really! And yeah, they moved Brent Burns back to defender, but it actually makes sense given the context of the roster San Jose has right now. It's not so bad, actually, he's gotten pretty good out there. He's even nominated for the Norris! I know!

Antti Niemi wasn't re-signed, yeah you probably saw that coming, but now a former King is starting in net! No, not Jonathan Quick. No, not Ben Scrivens. No, not Jonathan Bernier. Martin Jones! He's...okay, listen, you're gonna love him. He's great. I promise.

What if I told you that in fewer than two years the Sharks will play in their first ever Stanley Cup Final? I am telling you that, actually. Yep, it took fewer than two years to go from that epic collapse and the epic overreaction to the collapse for the Sharks to get their shit together and make the Final.

The Sharks even have a good luck charm! It's a black cat that walked on the ice before the second round series! She's named Joe Paw-velski and you're going to love her. Yes, you're going to love a cat. You're going to grow a lot in two years, apparently.

No, I'm not saying you'll magically fall in love with the moves Wilson made that summer. They weren't very good. Mike Brown was eventually dumped, though and you even started to root for that John Scott guy! Kind of! Oh, yeah...yeah, the Sharks signed him, too. I know. Don't worry about it, it's fine.

Somehow this is the most likable Sharks team since you started following the team. Joel Ward, Tomas Hertl (yep, he's good!), Joonas Donskoi (you don't know him yet, but he's really great) and Paul Martin all find their way into your heart. Along the way you're going to make lots of new friends on this website. You'll get to interview Jamie Baker! I know! Kevin Kurz is going to become a Friend of the Blog, too.

Wow, it's been a wild two years, I guess.

The point is, you big dummy, getting mad isn't a great response to your hockey team doing stupid stuff. I'm not saying you shouldn't have cared, because I know it's that caring that made you so angry, but maybe hit yourself with a cool dose of perspective next time you put an expletive in a headline, alright?

With love,

-2016 Jake

PS: Oh, yeah, and somehow after that the people in charge of this whole thing actually let you run Fear the Fin. Yeah, I know, right? Welcome to the Internet I guess.