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Anaheim Ducks hire Randy Carlyle

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Dreams do come true

Toronto Maple Leafs v Colorado Avalanche Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

Update : The Anaheim Ducks have hired Randy Carlyle to be their new head coach, committing themselves to one of the worst coaches in the modern NHL. Anaheim’s self destruction begins now.


Original article follows:

Sometimes the hockey gods give you a gift. John Buccigross tweeted the Anaheim Ducks are on the verge of hiring Randy Carlyle to become their head coach.

Nothing says over reaction like hiring the guy who helped run the Toronto Maple Leafs into the ground. Yes, the Ducks decided chasing nostalgia brings them closer to winning the Stanley Cup in the 2016-17 season.

This news should bring a smile to all Western Conference hockey fans as one of the best teams in the NHL turned to one of the worst coaches available to help spark a serious culture change that almost certainly didn’t need to happen.

Bob Murray took a look at an uber-talented hockey team that got bounced by the Nashville Predators in the first round because a very good coach made a poor goaltending decision and decided the following:

  • That coach had to be fired
  • The star players had to be publicly called out
  • The team needed a culture change
  • The team needed a coach who thought Phil Kessel was the problem with the Toronto Maple Leafs

I pre-wrote this post in November of 2015 and had to sit on it until the Ducks finally reached peak idiot and fired Boudreau. In this post, which was 100 percent a joke in just about every sense of the word, I had Carlyle as the ideal candidate.

3. Randy Carlyle

How did Randy slip this far? Because I was afraid if people saw him first they'd close this post before reading it because it would be so obvious. I'm absolutely, 100 percent, behind the #BringRandyHome movement. He coached the Ducks to their only Stanley Cup, primarily because of his coaching acumen and not at all because of the collection of hall of famers on the ice.

I think Carlyle can make Anaheim great again. He'd be huge for the season ticket holders, who quite frankly weren't around for 2007 but heard it was freaking sweet. He's the answer the Ducks are looking for.

Never in my wildest dreams did I believe the Ducks could be stupid enough to make this a reality. But here we are, quite possibly on the verge of Anaheim committing itself to wasting the primes of Corey Perry and Ryan Getzlaf’s careers. Who knows, maybe the Ducks will get stupendously lucky or Carlyle will miraculously change everything about him — but I doubt it.

Thanks Anaheim, we all needed this.