A totally unbiased essay on why you should put Joe Pavelski on the NHL 17 cover

This is legit.

EA Sports and the NHL finally made a competent decision this week when they announced Joe Pavelski as a candidate for the NHL 17 cover. After years of ineptitude and incompetence, they finally hit the mark. Good work everyone, a broken-ass clock is right twice a day after all.

This nomination is a long time coming. Pavelski is one of the best Americans in the NHL today but he doesn't receive much press for it. A quick look at the numbers tells you everything you need to know. He scored 38 goals during the regular season this year, 37 the year before that and 41 just two years ago. That kind of offensive output while playing in a league that's seeing scoring shrink faster than California's water supply should be appreciated.

Beyond the numbers, Pavelski stands for everything that makes American hockey great. Captain America, a nickname that finally works because of the C on his sweater this season, doesn't just play hockey for Team USA — he is Team USA. The good parts, anyway.

Look at how he just annihilates Canada's Team. The Edmonton Oilers are communist lambs headed to the slaughter at the hands of freedom and capitalism.

While Pavelski's first round opponent, Anze Kopitar, would certainly fit in nicely on the cover of Zoonooz Magazine, he just doesn't hold a candle to the American star power of The Big Pavelski. Part of the reason you put a player on the cover of a video game is to push copies and it's no doubt any true American's eyes would light up at seeing Pavelski on the cover instead of some Canadian jerk. Or Slovenian, in the case of Kopitar, I guess.

Just look at it. Here are some instant reactions upon seeing that cover, put into an easy-to-read word cloud for your convenience.


Couldn't have said it better myself. If you're not really into the whole "words" thing, then how about a video? If this doesn't convince you I'm honestly concerned that nothing will.

Once you've wiped those patriotic tears from your eyes, tweet #NHL17Pavelski right now. Go. Do it. What? You don't have a Twitter? Or you're afraid you'll lose followers over this? Okay, fine. Alternatively go right here and click those buttons as many times as you can. Don't let Captain America down. He needs you.