NHL Pacific Division stars chat: Couture cooped up, Getzlaf rips on everyone

What happens when you get four NHL stars on the same video conference call?

Probably a little bit like what happens in a locker room — a lot of ripping on each other.

This morning, the third in a series of eight conference calls that the NHL is hosting with a player from every team, Logan Couture, Marc-Andre Fleury, Anze Kopitar and Ryan Getzlaf jumped on Zoom.

Getzlaf, as it turns out, owns killer comic timing (and apparently, a chicken coop).

When Couture revealed he had ordered a Peloton because he wasn’t in the best shape, Getzlaf offered, “You’ve got time!”

When Kopitar was musing about the potential playoff format, if and when the NHL resumes the 2019-20 season, Getzlaf pointed out: “Kopi, for some reason, I don’t think we have to worry about the playoff format this year.”

Couture added, “Bring back all the teams!”

Of course, Getzlaf’s Anaheim Ducks, Kopitar’s Los Angeles Kings and Couture’s San Jose Sharks are trapped in the Pacific Division’s basement.

When Couture was describing what makes Fleury so annoying to compete against, Getzlaf interjected, “And he took your coach.”

And when Kopitar was talking about how hard it was to chase Getzlaf and Couture around the ice, Getzlaf smiled, “It’s a good thing I’m so slow, eh Kopi?”

Couture agreed: “So am I.”

“Trust me, we’re all in the same boat,” Kopitar laughed. “But I’m still chasing you around, so I don’t know what that says about my skating abilities.”

Couture Cooped Up

Couture got his cracks in, too.

When Fleury asked if the guys had heard about the potential of a tournament to compete for the first-overall pick, Couture joked: “We don’t have a first-round pick.”

He was, of course, referring to the 2020 San Jose first-round pick sent to Ottawa for Erik Karlsson, not Tampa Bay’s first-rounder, which the Sharks recently acquired in exchange for Barclay Goodrow.

Couture is stuck in San Jose, staying in with his girlfriend. For sure, Brielle Eschen is much better company than Joe Thornton.

Couture didn’t hesitate when asked which current Sharks player he’d least want to be quarantined with: “The least one’s easy. Jumbo. I don’t know how he’s surviving right now. The guy’s got ADD. If he can’t go to the rink, he’s lost.”

Getzlaf nodded, “That’s 100 percent true.”

Couture offered Goodrow up as his quarantine (former) teammate of choice, “He and I have the most in common. He’d be my guy.”

In the meantime, Couture is catching up on a lot of TV, finishing “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and “The Wire,” while starting “Six Feet Under.” He’s also reading a lot.

In fact, earlier this week, Couture started a book club. This isn’t a new thing for Couture, who’s an avid reader.

“We were in Ottawa this year. Going down an escalator, a security guard stopped me. I had a book in my hand,” Couture said. “He said I’ve done this for 10 years. There’s only one other player in the NHL that I’ve seen who carries books and it’s Marc-Andre Fleury. I was wondering if that’s actually true.”

Fleury giggled, “I was probably holding it for somebody else.”

When Couture does leave the house, however, it’s with purpose: “I have gone out, it’s been to small businesses, restaurants that have been good to me. It’s a big message here, to support your local businesses, your small businesses, help them get through this. We’re all in it together.”

He closed his portion of the conference call with this message to Sharks fans: “I just want to say thanks. Stay strong. You guys supported us all year, even though it’s been a tough year. Thank you and stay strong.”