News is slower than...
- Alexei Semenov after being hit in the jugular with a horse tranquilizer.
- The time it takes you to count each of Patrick Marleau's eyebrows.
- A Ray Ratto lunch at Korea BBQ All You Can Eat Buffet.
- Adam Foote.
- Teemu Selanne's offseason decisions.
- The line behind Doug Wilson at Ultimate Tanning Salon.
- One full episode of Gray's Anatomy.
- The time it takes Don Cherry to apologize for an offhand remark about Europeans.
- Completing Mass Effect 2 on Insanity.
- Just about anything outside of intercourse./
I need me some freaking hockey. Holy jumpin'.