Off the Post - September 30

• Plank and TCY churn out the Sharks-preview goods in epic proportion - see below (and below, and...).
• Team Teal's final cuts and the captaincy await...
• Sharks sign goaltender Thomas Heemskerk to an entry-level contract.
• [UPDATE] = Mats Sundin retires.
• Four Anaheim Ducks players roll sushi in southern California - expect the "When You're Finnish You'll Want More Saku" Roll to be a top seller (or not...).
• Ten of the New York Rangers, including Marian Gaborik and Sean Avery, will be on David Letterman tonight doing the Top 10.
• Two notes from Hamilton South - the Phoenix Coyotes sell out the lower bowl for opening night, and OdinMercer gets ahead of himself with the Dave Tippett hiring.
• [UPDATE, thanks to Nael M.] = Judge rejects both NHL and Balsillie offers for the Phoenix Coyotes.
• [UPDATE] - Alexei Semenov signs with the New York Rangers!
• [UPDATE] - Doesn't this picture break your heart?
• 
  

Finally, Todd McLellan might not be the most gifted actor on Earth - but he's still funny.