In case you missed it, Tomas Hertl announced earlier this month that when the boys get back from the All-Star Break there will be a new feature at Sharks’ games. Instead of 2Unlimited’s “Get Ready for This,” the song that normally plays when the Sharks score a goal, the players will now pick their own goal songs.
We don’t know what each player will choose, but the idea of making a guess was just too good to pass up. Some of these suggestions are serious, some are for giggles and some are just because they would make awesome goal songs no matter who chooses them.
I ranked them in order of who has the most goals so far this season.
As always, we love to hear your input, so once you read through, drop your suggestions in the comments.
Evander Kane — “Mama Said Knock You Out” by LL Cool J
Don’t you dare stare, you betta move
Don’t ever compare
Us to the rest that’ll all get sliced and diced
Competition’s payin’ our price
I’m gonna knock you out
Mama said knock you out
I chose this for a pair of reasons. One, Evander Kane is happy to jump in to protect his teammates when needed. Two, Kane’s father, a former amateur boxer, named Kane after boxing great Evander Holyfield.
Plus, let’s be honest — he’s a better knockout punch when he’s scoring goals for the Sharks than he is sitting for five minutes in the box after a fight.
Timo Meier — TiK ToK Ke$ha
Don’t stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, I’m-a fight
Till we see the sunlight
Tick-tock on the clock
But the party don’t stop, no
What better way to announce it’s Timo Time than with Ke$ha’s TiK ToK?
Tomas Hertl — “Happy” by Pharrell Williams
Huh, because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Every single time Tomas Hertl scores a goal there’s an infectious grin on his face. Why not spread the joy a little further?
Alternate: “Ninja Rap” by Vanilla Ice.
Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO: Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO!
Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO: Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO!
GO GO GO GO!
This may be a result of my 7-year-old insisting we watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze the other night, but hearing, “Go ninja, go ninja, go!” over the public address system would certainly fire up the crowd.
Logan Couture — “Sabotage” by Beastie Boys
So, so, so, so listen up, ‘cause you can’t say nothin’
You’ll shut me down with a push of your button
But, yo, I’m out and I’m gone
I’ll tell you now, I keep it on and on
Even when the Sharks aren’t going, count on Captain Clutch to show up in those big games. Just remember in last year’s playoffs:; during the Game 7 power play against the Vegas Golden Knights, Couture scored the first goal of the game for the Sharks and the game-tying goal.
No matter what’s happening in the game, Couture keeps it on and on.
Kevin Labanc — “Bitch Better Have My Money” by Rihanna
Bitch better have my money!
Y’all should know me well enough
Bitch better have my money!
Please don’t call me on my bluff
Pay me what you owe me
This one would have gone over better if Kevin Labanc were performing to the level the Sharks were hoping he would this season, but it’s still the perfect message to send Doug Wilson. Labanc signed a team friendly deal in the off-season and will look to cash in this summer.
How fun would it be to see Labanc looking up at Wilson every time he scores with this song playing in the background?
Brent Burns — “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus
I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was break me
Yeah, you wreck me
Brent Burns plays his best hockey when he’s an unpredictable wrecking ball. He bowls over opponents, crashes the net and creates massive amounts of havoc in his wake.
Patrick Marleau — “I’m Not as Good as I Once Was” by Toby Keith
I ain’t as good as I once was,
My how the years have flown,
But there was a time,
Back in my prime,
When I could really hold my own,
But if you want a fight tonight,
Guess those boys don’t look all that tough,
I ain’t as good once was,
But I’m as good once, as I ever was.
Yes, Patrick Marleau is 40-years-old, but he can still score. On some nights, he seems downright determined to show he’s as good as he once was. Take career game number 1,700 for example. Marleau scored the game winning goal on Jan. 11, 2020, leading the Sharks to a 2-1 victory over the Dallas Stars.
Barclay Goodrow — “Look What You Made Me Do” by Taylor Swift
But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time (nick of time)
Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time (I do it all the time)
I’ve got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined
I check it once, then I check it twice, oh!
Ooh, look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
Look what you just made me do
Look what you just made me
Truthfully, there’s no real reason for this selection except that it seems like a great way to taunt the opposing team.
Erik Karlsson — “Should I Stay or Should I Go” by The Clash
Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go, there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know
For Erik Karlsson, this goal song was something he was singing in the summer. Now some Sharks fans are singing it. Karlsson’s $11.5 million AAV is tough to take when he has 35 points (5 goals, 30 assists) this season and a plus/minus of minus-16.
Is he the worst player on the Sharks? No.
Is he the best? Not at the moment.
Marc-Edouard Vlasic — “Who Let the Dogs Out?” by Baha Men
Who let the dogs out
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out
Vlasic likes dogs. Enough said. For those of you cringing, don’t worry, you won’t hear it often enough for it to get annoying.
Marcus Sorensen — “Wake Me Up” by Avicii
I tried carrying the weight of the world
But I only have two hands
I hope I get the chance to travel the world
And I don’t have any plans
I wish that I could stay forever this young
Not afraid to close my eyes
Life’s a game made for everyone
And love is a prize
So wake me up when it’s all over
When I’m wiser and I’m older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn’t know I was lost
First off, sorry Sharks fans, Marcus Sorensen is not the scoring savior we were hoping he would be. In fact, with just five goals in 46 games, he’s not even the scoring savior he was last season.
Second, this is the most popular Swedish artist I know (aside from ABBA), so it should be used to represent a Swede.
Melker Karlsson — “Where is the Love?” by Black Eyed Peas
Can’t we all just get along?
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
’Cause people got me, got me questioning
(Where’s the love)
Melker Karlsson gets very little love from, well, anyone. The fourth-line forward is a very good penalty killer and defensively sound. He’d do well with a change of scenery, but until that happens he can keep asking, “Where is the love?”.
Joe Thornton — “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I’m gonna get you, too
Another one bites the dust
Joe Thornton’s goals are few and far between, but when he does score, it seems like he’s passing another Hall of Fame player on his way up the all-time list. He’s creeping up toward the top ten all-time in points and already sits at seventh all-time in assists. How fun would it be to hear “Another One Bites the Dust” every time Thornton scores?
Joel Kellman — “Insane in the Brain” by Cypress Hill
Insane in the membrane
Insane in the brain!
Insane in the membrane
Insane in the brain!
Just because it’s fun.
Stefan Noesen – “Do You Know the Way to San Jose?” by Dionne Warwick
I’ve got lots of friends in San Jose
Do you know the way to San Jose?
Can’t wait to get back to San Jose
Stefan Noesen was a great waiver wire pickup that has added stability to the Sharks’ fourth line. Given his journeyman status and the fact that the Sharks will be in need of guys like him next season while they’re trying to retool, it would be nice to see Wilson sign him to a new contract at a good price.
I think Noesen still has another step in his development and it would be good for the Sharks to see where it leads.
Radim Simek — “Enter Sandman” by Metallica
Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We’re off to never-never land
There had to be a tribute to long-time Sharks’ supporters Metallica in here somewhere. Why not team them up with hard hitting defenseman Radim Simek?
Mario Ferraro — “Robot Rock” by Daft Punk
Literally, all the song says is “Rock. Robot Rock,” but it’s got a good beat and might be a cool goal song. Plus, it fits well for Ferraro. The rookie defenseman has his own YouTube Channel under the name Youngest of Plugs where he reviews tech gadgets!
Brenden Dillon — “Rock You Like a Hurricane” by Scorpions
More days to come, new places to go
I’ve got to leave, it’s time for a show
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane
Here I am
Rock you like a hurricane
Brenden Dillion is another one of those defensemen known for for hard, body rocking hits. Sadly for Sharks fans, the defenseman has “new places to go” and will likely leave soon.
Dillon has been one of the team’s most consistent defensemen this season and he deserves a shot with a contender. Until then, I’ll cross my fingers that we’ll hear “Rock You Like a Hurricane” at least once before he goes.
Antti Suomela — “Hard Rock Hallelujah” by Lordi
Truthfully, I know very little about forward Antti Suomela’s personal life and even less about the Finnish Heavy Metal scene, but this seems like a pretty cool goal song. Plus, there should be at least one heavy metal song on the list considering how much some of the boys in the room like the music.
Tim Heed — “Island in the Sun” by Weezer
On an island in the sun
We’ll be playin’ and havin’ fun
And it makes me feel so fine
I can’t control my brain
Hip, hip
Hip, hip
I really just want to hear, “Hip, hip; hip, hip” emanating from SAP Center.
Martin Jones — “Don’t Believe the Hype” by Public Enemy
Some media is the whack
You believe it’s true, it blows me through the roof
Suckers, liars get me a shovel
Some writers I know are damn devils
For them I say don’t believe the hype
I realize the goalies don’t get goal songs, but this is make believe and I’m imagining something like this for Martin Jones. You have to figure Jones has had his fill of the media and all the pundits saying he’s not a number one goaltender in the league. Trouble is, he hasn’t proven anyone wrong yet.
Aaron Dell — “Survivor” by Destiny’s Child
I’m a survivor (what), I’m not gon’ give up (what)
I’m not gon’ stop (what), I’m gon’ work harder (what)
I’m a survivor (what), I’m gonna make it (what)
I will survive (what), keep on survivin’ (what)
Aaron Dell was never drafted in the NHL. He continued to work at it and played in CHL and ECHL until the Worcester Sharks came calling. He toiled in the AHL until he was called up in 2016. Dell was never considered a starter and was basically a fill in to spell Jones. Now, his hard work is paying off and he’s earned the number one job.
Do I think Dell is the long-term solution for the Sharks? No. But he keeps working and seems to survive, so I have to give him credit.
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