Sharks acquire Torres, ruin trade deadline

With Douglas Murray, Michal Handzus and Ryane Clowe gone and Adam Burish having seemingly turned a corner, the San Jose Sharks were completely devoid of legitimate whipping boys. Doug Wilson responded to that need immediately prior to the trade deadline, unfortunately getting in under the wire with his acquisition of left wing and noted particle of human excrement Raffi Torres from the Phoenix Coyotes for a 3rd round pick.

There really isn't a way to polish this turd, except to say that Torres isn't all that terrible at hockey. Sure, he's the type of player who should be railroaded out of the league and his presence on this Sharks roster makes them harder to cheer for than at any point in memory. But he also potted 15 goals last season in limited minutes, in fact ranking 53rd among NHL forwards in goals per 60 at even-strength, while being a positive-possession player. The season prior to that, he lit the lamp 14 times for the Canucks while starting 70.4% of his non-neutral shifts in the defensive zone. While his underlying numbers are much worse so far this season, he is scoring at a 15-goal pace once again. Leaving emotions out of it, Torres is a player who could legitimately help the Sharks.

That won't change the fact that he's the worst.