It’s a rare occasion indeed when all four Fear The Fin writers are unable to watch a game on any given night. Especially one at home. Against Detroit. In the middle of March with the playoffs approaching. It just doesn’t happen very often.
But as fate would have it, we were consumed with other responsibilities– significant others, work, classes, planning a bank heist with members of the Russian mafia (I’ll give you one guess). It’s quite a shame considering Dany Heatley decided to break out of his scoring slump against the Red Wings, scoring a pair of goals that included the game winner against Old (Joey) MacDonald. But considering the Sharks have won just about every game they’ve come across since emerging from a six game losing streak in January, there’s probably not a lot that we missed.
Since our game recap would be about as useful as one written by Stevie Wonder, we asked our readers to chime in and help us out in around 140 characters. And here’s what you came up with.
First we go to the ever insightful idunno723 who, despite our pleadings to keep these short and concise, decided to open a Microsoft Word doc and crank out a master’s thesis on the impact tonight’s win will have on the Libyan people’s quest for freedom:
“Sharks outscore Wings, win game.”
It’s hard to ignore his claims that a loss may have sent gas prices soaring even higher, cutting into American business and decreasing GDP which may cause an intervention by the American military. Thank God the Sharks won tonight, if not for the sake of the team than for the sake of all of our SUV’s and Hummers.
Next up is Evilducks, who in the process of indulging in the Sharks victory failed to realize the spiciness of the dish he was consuming. What ensued next can only be described as verbal diarrhea caused by quick intake of delicious red wings– and is normally the cause with such rapid consumption, the results were as disturbing as they were strangely beautiful.
Sharks start strong! Heatley! Aw… Braun… Waived off! Crap Homer… Crankshafted! HEATER! MacD muff to PATTY! empty net rule.
Since we mentioned Stevie Wonder in our initial call for readers to submit their recaps, it’s only fitting that someone would submit what appears to be a Braille version of the game recap.
1p:McDs supr sz rbnds.DH pots 1.Wings-nogoal.2p:Speedy.Braun:)DH pots 1.3p:Lidstrom not tired.SJPP fail.JT clrs,PM chases,3-1 SJ
And of course, no recap would be complete without a little hockey poetry in the mix. I’m no coffee house art critic, but even the most jaded and cynical of the hipster community would acknowledge that if one of these poems were to sell out, they’d respect it (at least until it went on The View and shamelessly paraded around for the conformist non-vintage wearing members of suburban America).
Heatley and Marleau, shot us to three,
P-L-A-Y-O-F-F E-N-E-R-G-Y
The Red Wings couldn’t beat Niemi,
The earlier disappointments of this season are nowhere to see!>> YeahTommyB4ZGermansGetThere
Heatley comes to life
Niemi is strong again
Awkward goal to clinch
So there you have it folks. San Jose wins their eighth game in a row, take the season series against Detroit 3-1, and now sit a mere three points behind the Wings for the second seed in the Western Conference.
Charlie Sheen and the San Jose Sharks— winning at a ridiculous pace.
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