Deep Blue Sea: Gritty declares war

I cannot believe I’m writing a third Deep Blue Sea about Gritty, but here we are.

The newly minted Philadelphia Flyers mascot has stayed in the news since protesters used his likeness while speaking out against Donald Trump’s recent visit to Philadelphia. Gritty has become wholly and immediately synonymous with the city itself.

For some reason, fascists hate this because being part of Philadelphia means he belongs to the liberals of the city as well? Maybe? Who knows, it’s a stupid thing to get mad about, anyway, and quite possibly the weirdest thing in the history of the universe to have a victim complex over.

But that’s not even the biggest problem with Gritty right now.

Yesterday, Gritty declared all out war on our beloved SJ Sharkie and now I, and the entire city of San Jose, have beef with this muppet gone wrong.

See the shark.
Be the shark.
Defeat the shark.

Hook, line, sinker. @sjsharkie pic.twitter.com/kVbJEzuP87

— Gritty (@GrittyNHL) October 8, 2018

He even went so far as to attack some of Sharkie’s baby relatives, who were peacefully snoozing on gift shop shelves:

Sorry @AdventureAqua, fish plushies are a real trigger for me. pic.twitter.com/ChrBO34mrG

— Gritty (@GrittyNHL) October 8, 2018

That’s the final straw, Grittison Flyera. Sharkie is the hardest working fish in the NHL and you really think you can disrespect him like this? You think you can just act like fish are not our friends? Even after Sharkie welcomed you to the NHL family?

Don’t forget: the All Star Game in on our turf this year and Sharkie will remember this slight.

Tread carefully, muppet man.

And please stop making me write about you.

News & Notes

• Why Is Everyone Pretending To Be Delighted By Gritty? A Dialogue.
• “Keep your Marxist hands off Gritty”: WSJ writer fumes over allegations that a furry mascot is antifa
• In more Flyers news, James van Riemsdyk will be out for 5-6 weeks. OTF: van Riemsdyk Injury Update
• More injuries in the Eastern Conference: Brandon Dubinsky to Miss 4-6 Weeks Due to Strained Oblique
• Very weird to see so much Sharks praise from the NHL but here we are: How DeBoer is deploying his embarrassment of riches
• Meeri Räisänen will be joining the Connecticut Whale this season. Here’s how she got there: Q & A with Connecticut Whale’s Meeri Räisänen
• Anyone else catch The Mighty Ducks on NHL Network last night? Here’s a read on How the Mighty Ducks took flight, an oral history/

Scores & Recaps

• Ottawa Senators 3, Boston Bruins 6 [Silver Seven recap, Stanley Cup of Chowder recap]
• Vegas Golden Knights 2, Buffalo Sabres 4 [Knights On Ice recap, Die By The Blade recap]
• Detroit Red Wings 2, Anaheim Ducks 3 (SO)  [Winging It In Motown recap, Anaheim Calling recap]/